About The Jolly Minstrel

The Jolly Minstrel believes that life is too short and too precious to suffer through. No matter what is happening around you, you can find something to laugh at, laugh about, be thankful for or just stare in wide-eyed wonder. Everywhere you look, there's something new to learn, to taste, to see, to feel. How long has it been since you actually DID stop and smell the roses? Take a pause here...and sniff around!

UPDATE: April 30, 2008


  Presenting:

THE CACTUS CUTIES

from Lubbock, TX!!!!!!

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Jolliness Rules

If Cars Developed as Fast as Computers
At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating that if GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:


1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.


2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.


3. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "CarNT" or "CarXP." But then you would have to buy more seats.


4. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five per cent of the roads.


5. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.


6. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.


7. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.


8. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.


9. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.


10. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

Yes! We Have NO Bananas!

Another great classic that's hard to get out of your head!

Folk Song written By: Frank Silver and Irving Cohn (1923)

There's a fruit store on our street
It's run by a Greek.
And he keeps good things to eat
But you should hear him speak!

When you ask him anything, he never answers "no".
He just "yes"es you to death,
And as he takes your dough, he tells you...

"Yes! We have no bananas
We have no bananas today!!
We have string beans and onions, cabBAges and scallions
And all kinds of fruit and say
We have an old fashioned toMAHto
A Long Island poTAHto, but

Yes! We have no bananas
We have no bananas today!"

Business got so good for him that he wrote home today,
"Send me Pete and Nick and Jim; I need help right away."
When he got them in the store, there was fun, you bet.
Someone asked for "sparrow grass"
and then the whole quartet
All answered:

"Yes, we have no bananas
We have-a no bananas today.
Just try those coconuts
Those wall-nuts and doughnuts
There ain't many nuts like they.
We'll sell you two kinds of red herring,
Dark brown, and ball-bearing.
But yes, we have no bananas
We have no bananas today."

2008 JollyMinstrel

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